How to Deal with Injuries and Setbacks

When I was about 12, I remember watching a football (soccer) match with guys who were a couple of years older than me. There was one player who was way better than everyone else. The rumor was that he was a talent being scouted by top teams (which was rare in my town). This kid could run rings around everyone else, so the only way to stop him was to foul him. It happened constantly. But rather than getting angry, he would smile, laugh, and just get on with it. What struck me was not his skill but his character. He knew his worth and chose to hold himself with grace as opposed to throwing a tantrum. I remember thinking how special that was and how I wished to be more like that. You cannot teach raw talent, but you can refine behavior.

Self-respect and pride are tied to how you handle yourself in certain situations. Sure, achievement is important and action is vital, but the old Bukowski quote—“what matters most is how you walk through the fire”—is true. If we constantly try, we will someday fail. If we constantly climb, we will someday fall… this is inevitable. And so our attitude and character are not defined by constantly “winning,” but rather by our ability to absorb, recover, and move forward with grace.

Disappointment is real—we shouldn’t dismiss it. Failure is real and we should feel it. But what matters more is the solution… the resolution. The comeback. The character muscle Self-respect compounds. Every time you choose the hard right (consistent rehab, honest assessment, showing up anyway) over the easy wrong (doom-scrolling, excuses, comparison), that muscle gets stronger. Pride isn’t arrogance—it’s quiet confidence that you can take the hit and keep your posture.

If we choose to live a life of action (as I believe we should), then we should expect a few scars. The trick is not to let the scars overwhelm or define you. Younger you is looking at you now and asking if this is who you wanted to be. You may have feared weakness, but weakness is not taking the hits—weakness is surrendering to them. In my lifetime I’ve seen many people from all walks of life accomplish amazing things on the back of tragedy. Illness, loss, despair… the examples are all around us. But the rise from that situation is far more compelling to us than the wound. That is the opportunity. That is the lesson.

We ask our kids who they want to be when they grow up. They’ll say a fireman, a nurse, a policeman (hopefully not a politician). But the more important question is: “What kind of person do you want to be when you grow up?” I always wanted to be the kind of person that gets back up. I hope my kids say the same.

See you in the gym.

PV